Brian’s (single)
mom was a most devoted mentor of her only child. She’d made sure he’d attended
the very best schools, never failing to deliver or collect him on time in
crisp, clean shirt and creases. If he wanted, say, an Airfix kit, a magazine, a
book, he only needed to hint as much and it arrived.
And now, at thirty-five, Brian still enjoyed her ministrations
with a cosy, passive acceptance each time she visited. And visit she often did.
Brian wasn’t anything like the type to take risks – took after his mother in
that respect – so fate scarce ever had opportunity to throw any substantial
spanners into the workings of his
ordered life. At five seven, slim and with sandy brown hair, he blended into
the background in his threads of beige and grey. But fate had recently
introduced him to a homeless teenage girl, and she had taken residence on his
sofa – he just hadn’t been able to say no, could never say no, or even, ‘Hey!
you short-changed me, barged in,’ or whatever.
And Mother was due to call round.
This is an
example of a narrative summary that attempts to inflect characterization (apologies
for the standard of prose, I wrote it on the fly). Okay, so we get that Brian’s
a chip off the OCD block and still under his mommy’s thumb, but, aside from the
mischievous element of the teenager’s presence when his mother visits, do we
really care about Brian? We are being asked to care about a summary, in effect.
The example also tries to dump as much info as it can – lighting
all the fireworks at once – we have the whole novel to reveal whatever school
Brian went to, if pertinent, or anything else. And if you give your character a
well-defined and comprehensive narrative description at the outset, it can tend
to ring-fence any deviation from this model later on. But if you depict the
character bit by bit, via scenes, he can change with the flux of the story.
You meet someone at a party in real life – do you give each other
your CV? No, you find out a few fragments and form opinions as the evening
progresses. If you meet afterwards, you learn more – and this is how it works
in novels. Don’t deny your readers the delights of gradual discovery.
Much better that we are introduced to Brian in a scene that
reveals his character – and that of his mom (and new friend if we choose the
right scene).
For example, we could open an early morning scene where Brian
comes downstairs to answer the phone in the hallway (he only gets calls from
his mom) and finds himself scrambling to grab the handset before his
self-appointed lodger answers the call. We could set some ‘No, Mom – Yes, Mom –
No, I didn’t forget’ phone monologue or have Mom contribute to the dialogue;
the call ends, followed by Brian suggesting to the teenage Lolita that she
ought to go out for the day, thus delaying the inevitable revelation to his
impending mom. After Brian’s polite-but-awkward suggestions continue to fail (to
a bemused Lolita) and we wait for the ring of the doorbell, we have experienced
a more palpable characterization than in the narrative summary above.
You will notice, that the ‘show and tell’ principles illustrated in
the previous article are adopted here – and you will see this occur all the way
through the other components we will deal with.
Exposition in dialogue
We have to
exercise restraint when injecting exposition in dialogue. Are the characters
saying things to each other for their own benefit or that of the reader?
“I say, James. Do you remember that newspaper report by The Globe
after the murder?”
“Kind of, Rupert. Refresh my memory…”
[followed by newspaper report exposition masquerading as dialogue]
Characterization in dialogue
When devising your characters you need to make sure they have
their own unique voice, vernacular and idiosyncrasies in their dialogue and
keep them consistent – right down to which words they contract (“I’d” is a
contraction of “I would”) and the kind of things they would say. So when you
come to edit, ask: would Brian really say that?
Characterization in scene form
A useful way to tell your readers about a character is by allowing
the reader to infer their traits as they follow a scene (much more gratifying
for the reader).
Take Brian’s mom, for example; we could tell the reader in flat
narrative that she is obsessive compulsive about bacteria and also an anorexic,
but why not have her show this in a scene: she arrives for dinner wearing
disposable gloves, proceeds to clean her cutlery and glass with alcohol wipes,
and hardly eats a morsel during the meal.
Characterization using other characters
We can also describe a character by using the actions and
appraisals of other characters around him.
Let’s make Brian unpopular in the workplace to all but the newly-appointed
office junior. We can have other office workers warn the new girl that Brian
tells the boss everything, that his nickname is “toenails” because he’s so far
up the boss’s ass, that’s all you can see of him. You get the idea.
Further points
If your character has extraordinary physical traits, such as a
wooden leg, the sooner you tell the reader the better. The same goes for appearance,
though many authors choose to rely on a scant framework of physical
description, allowing the reader to make their own models of the players, which
can prove a valuable aid to immersion.
Check list
When opening chapters, have you ‘told’ us stuff about your
characters that you could reveal as the plot unfolds.
How much background info of the characters have you provided, and
is it really useful, other than as a character map that should never be placed
on the page.
Do the characters talk to one another for their own benefit, or is
it for the reader.
The subject of
characterization needs volumes to do it justice, but I hope I have conveyed the
general principles.
Next up: Point of View
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Other Self Editing
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Self editing 4 fiction #7 ~ Interior MonologueSelf editing 4 fiction #8 ~ Master of the Beat
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