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Editor's choice: Zombie, Inc. ~ Christine Dougherty

Prolific horror/paranormal author Christine Dougherty has already achieved an Editor’s Choice accolade from me – and this was no mean feat, given she had to lure this particular curmudgeonly editor into a topic that I would normally shy away from: God – or the devil to be more precise – is a subject that I avoid like the plague. So I invited her over for a Q&A session following my being entranced by her uncompromising story The Devil Stood Up (read the interview Here).

So when Christine disclosed that she and her muse had contrived a new storyline during a visit to a burger bar, I was interested in what the premise would be – until after publication – when I learned the title of the novel was Zombie, Inc.

Zombies? … and me? Not exactly my preferred reading subject – and that’s an understatement: like, you’d have to pay me to read a zombie novel or watch a zombie movie, and I told the author as much in advance mitigation that I wouldn’t get on with it. You see, horror is not really my bag at all and were it not for my reading “Devil” I would not have given it a second look.

But it soon became apparent that this talented writer has a kind of tractor beam that pulls in the reader, be it their genre or not. I was wholly engrossed from start to finish by the premise, presentation and style of this hilarious satire. Top marks yet again, Christine!

Regular readers will know that I never “spoil” the plot, but you can preview the opening of Zombie, Inc. on Amazon Here (or Here in the UK) and decide for yourselves – it’s your loss if you don’t give it a chance...

Self editing 4 fiction #8 Master of the Beat

Beats are those small pieces of action within scenes and dialogue that help the reader to identify with the scene.

They balance the narrative and dialogue, and inform the reader about the actors’ traits etc. – they are also used in place of speaker attributes quite a lot:

“I didn’t mean to upset you, honestly,” Roger said as he gently took my hand.

can become:

Roger took my hand. “ I didn’t mean to upset you, honestly…”

Useful though these beats are for speaker attributes and to season the narrative, we must make sure we don’t “do them to death” and/or echo them overtly. Here are a few popular beats that come into this category:

raised his brows

frowned

shrugged

chuckled

sighed

cleared her throat

nodded

shook his head

walked over to the window

looked out the window

looked up

looked down

stared into the distance

scratched his chin

steepled her fingers

You get the idea… So we should always be on the lookout for echoes when using beats; one of the biggest culprits is ‘nodded’ – try doing a search for this word (and others) when you’re editing, and don’t be surprised when you find characters nodding all over the place and in painful proximity. To initiate a “Beat” search in MS Word, press the F5 key and select “More” > “Reading Highlight” > “Highlight All” or to navigate them one by one, select “Find Next”.

Try to inject a bit of originality with your beats – to find inspiration, engage in a bit of “people watching” or take in a movie with an eye out for mannerisms and how you can coin them.

But even with clever, appropriate and original beats, we must ensure we don’t clog the narrative with them and disturb the flow of the narrative or erode the tension within the dialogue.

One of my favourite examples of how an edit can rack up the tension in a scene is from one of my favourite self-editing books – the timeless and priceless Self Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King (purchase HERE). Below is an example of an early draft of Fran Dorf’s A Reasonable Madness followed by the final edit:

[...

"Laura's illness is very complex," I said. "If you'd just–"

"My wife obviously has a screw loose somewhere," he said. "I was under the impression that the family is informed when a person goes crazy."

I sighed. "Sometimes that's true," I admitted.

He said, "But you don't think my wife is crazy, or what?"

My frustration was mounting. "I wish you'd stop throwing that word around so casually," I snapped.

"I don't give a goddamn what you wish," he said. "It's obvious to me that my wife should be in an asylum."

What an odd choice of words, I thought. "There are no asylums any more, Mr. Wade," I pointed out.

He got up, walked over to the window and looked out, then turned back to me.

"Whatever," he said. "A hospital, then."

I took off my glasses, rubbed my eyes. "Why do you think she should be in a hospital?" I asked him.

"Delusions. You've heard of them?"

"Once or twice." I said sarcastically, beginning to lose it. "Why don't you tell me about Laura's?"

"Thinking things that are obviously ridiculous," he said. "Misinterpreting everyday events and people's behavior as having something to do with her-with this power she thinks she has. Oh, but I forgot. You believe in witches."

Now take a look at the passage as finally edited:

"Laura's illness is very complex. If you'd–"

"My wife obviously has a screw loose somewhere," he said. "I was under the impression that the family is informed when a person goes crazy."

"Well, yes," I said, "but–"

"But you don't think my wife is crazy, or what?"

"I wish you'd stop throwing that word around."

"I don't give a goddamn what you wish. It's obvious to me that my wife belongs in an asylum."

An asylum?

"There are no asylums any more, Mr. Wade."

"A hospital, then. Whatever."

I took off my glasses, rubbed my eyes. "Why do you think Laura belongs in a hospital?"

"Delusions. You've heard of them?"

"Why don't you tell me what you think those are, Mr. Wade."

...]

As can be seen, per our earlier article on dialogue, we have lost the unrequired speaker attributes (I said, he said, I admitted, I snapped, I pointed out, he said, I asked him, I said sarcastically). The fewer interruptions help with the dialogue flow, but, more importantly, we have fewer beats and the main character is no longer telling us his frustration was mounting (which is obvious) and the thought attribute (what an odd choice of words, I thought) is now gone – replaced by the succinct An asylum? in interior monologue style.

Better still, Mr. Wade no longer takes the hackneyed trip to the window to look out of it and the main character’s early sigh is removed and followed by more natural dialogue and Mr. Wade’s interruption, which goes a long way to creating the crackling tension in the scene.

To conclude, there is no finite formula for how many beats to put in a scene, but beware of inserting a detailed running commentary if an actor is performing a task during the scene – allow the reader to exercise their imagination to fill in the gaps. Beats are useful to inject pauses in a long dialogue exchange (if used sparingly) and to slow the narrative flow to give the reader a break from relentless narrative action. It goes without saying that beats can help to define your characters – be they nervous, belligerent, confident, arrogant, clumsy etc. Try to avoid, or at least be frugal with, common, clichéd beats – especially involving “look” – look, looked, looking is one of the most overused triplets in novel writing. If you don’t believe me, do an F5 search for “look” in your MS and see for yourself...

More about repetition and echoes in our next article:

Déjà vu

Self editing 4 fiction #7 Interior Monologue

In simple terms, interior monologue is the device used by authors to place the reader inside the character’s head. Modern writing methods have tended to emulate screenplay styles in recent decades – and this has led to more immediate portrayal, but, although screenplay may have certain advantages over narrative, interior monologue is the ace card of the author.

There are many ways to convey such inner thoughts: we are going to dive straight into the deep end and examine how William Golding did this – per proxy – in a passage from his classic, Lord of the Flies, in which Simon encounters the pig’s head on the stick (as the movie picture above illustrates). In the 1963 movie, the director limited this scene to having no dialogue – just a sombre drum roll and the buzzing of flies around the pig’s head while Simon peered at it intently – but here is a portion of the novel’s scene of the encounter between Simon and the grisly head, which takes us inside the character’s mind in an unusual yet revealing manner:

“. . . You are a silly little boy,” said the Lord of the Flies, “just an ignorant, silly little boy.”

Simon moved his swollen tongue but said nothing.

“Don’t you agree?” said the Lord of the Flies. “Aren’t you just a silly little boy?”

Simon answered him in the same silent voice.

“Well then,” said the Lord of the Flies, “you’d better run off and play with the others. They think you’re batty. You don’t want Ralph to think you’re batty, do you? You like Ralph a lot, don’t you? And Piggy, and Jack?”

Simon’s head was tilted slightly up. His eyes could not break away and the Lord of the Flies hung in space before him.

“What are you doing out here all alone? Aren’t you afraid of me?”

Simon shook.

“There isn’t anyone to help you. Only me. And I’m the Beast.”

Simon’s mouth laboured, brought forth audible words.

“Pig’s head on a stick.”

“Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill!” said the head. For a moment or two the forest and all the other dimly appreciated places echoed with the parody of laughter. “You knew, didn’t you? I’m part of you? Close, close, close! I’m the reason why it’s no go? Why things are what they are?”

The laughter shivered again.

“Come now,” said the Lord of the Flies. “Get back to the others and we’ll forget the whole thing.”

Simon’s head wobbled. His eyes were half closed as though he were imitating the obscene thing on the stick. He knew that one of his times was coming on. The Lord of the Flies was expanding like a balloon. . .

Of course, most interior monologues do not portray the hallucinations of the characters – but they are flavoured by their particular slant on the world in one way or another, and it is useful to remember this when constructing (and editing) them.

Interior monologue is not difficult to write, a sure fire way to let your readers in on what is going on in a character’s head – but this can lead to overuse – so, as with all the components of a good story, proportion is the key. Don’t abandon dialogue and action where it is more suitable – you will find that a light seasoning of interior monologue can blend invisibly into the narrative and your reader will switch without effort between the distinctions:

“. . . The prison officer led Liam up the green cast-iron spiral staircase that led to C wing. They walked along the green-walled landing with the green metal handrail to their right. Liam looked down at the chip-net – there to catch loose screws – that wasn’t green. Maybe they ran out of paint. The guard opened the door and Liam backed inside . . .”

Sometimes we need to devote the best part of a paragraph or scene to interior monologue because without this technique it would become bare narrative telling:

“. . . Stef grabbed a magazine from the array spread over the waiting room table. He sat down alongside all the other patients and began to leaf through the uninspiring pages. He expected that, just like himself, all of the other cancer patients were doing exactly the same as he was: going through the motions as they stared blankly at random glossy pages a million miles from where their heads were really at. But what better option was there for he and them? Talk about their hopes and fears? Well, probably – in a perfect world. . .”

Basic tricks:

Don’t have characters mutter to themselves and such like – this is a hackneyed device – better to place their thoughts in interior monologue.

Get rid of redundant thought attributions (she thought / reasoned / wondered / etc.):

Did he really want to sleep with this woman? Not really, he thought.

Did he really want to sleep with this woman? Not really.

I always end up sleeping with a guy on a first date, she thought.

She always seemed to wind up sleeping with guys on their first date.

Why did she always end up sleeping with guys on their first date?

Avoid using italics to set interior monologue apart – not only are they heavy on the eyes, overuse weakens their presence in a novel. In the main, trust the reader to make the transition without this device. Of course, sometimes it just seems natural to use italics, especially if a character’s interior monologue is punctuated by an inner conclusion or an intervention of their thought process:

" . . . Dr Kaur caught Vic on his way out. “Mr Williams, the bereavement office is next to the outpatients’ entrance. They can help you with counselling, funeral arrangements and obtain the death certificate for you. They’re open office hours.”

That’s it. She’s gone. My fault for leaving her. Bloody fool.

“Are you okay, Mr Williams?” . . ."

". . . Now what was she going to do? Scott had made it clear that he intended to tell Dave about their one night stand – meaningless and forgettable though it was. What had gotten into him? Guilt? A new found sense of decency? Or perhaps he was just—stop it! The last thing you need is to upset yourself if you want to keep the baby . . ."

Next up: The Master of the Beat

What a Difference a Year Makes…

A new year begins, but it seems like only yesterday when I posted my January 1st 2012 article heralding Russell Blake as the paradigm author for the year. Having already read his early work, Fatal Exchange, The Geronimo Breach, King of Swords and The Delphi Chronicle, it was a no-brainer for (such a fussy reader as) me to forecast that this author was one to follow during 2012. For me, his output rate was just as important as his engaging content – how often does one find a writer who ticks the boxes only to discover that the next novel publication date is a year, or two, away…which can be frustrating. But not with Blake: and to illustrate this for those who have yet to hear about the Blake phenomenon, here is a résumé of the many thrillers he penned during 2012 – preceded by an informative Q&A session that sheds a little light on the neo-publishing industry and what makes this prolific author tick.

Thanks for returning to expend your valuable time answering my questions, Mr. Blake.

Producing eight well-received, quality thrillers in just a few months is something of a superhuman undertaking (and there are those among us who wonder whether you’re actually a native to this planet). How on Earth do you manage it?

I found that if you forego eating and sleeping there are a lot more hours in the day with which to write. Seriously, that’s not far from the truth. My writing schedule looked something like this: 7 am, start writing. Midnight, stop writing. Figure if each novel took roughly 200 hours for first draft, and then another 100 or so for second, and roughly the same for third, then off to editing, the hours to craft a quality product are there.

Many authors write two to three hours a day, so it would be the equivalent of six to nine months of writing packed into a very narrow time frame. What’s odd is that once you get used to that pace, it gets easier to just move to the next one. As an example, look at the timeframe to write Silver and the four JET books. That’s almost half a million finish-quality words in, what, five months? Edited, too. And proofed. Very, very aggressive, but I figured while the muse was dancing it would be poor form to interrupt...

And yet you still have time to host an interesting and informative website for readers and aspiring authors alike, which has garnered a cult following – in a recent article there, you allude to the benefits of Amazon, contrary to the cynical musings of many on this corporate leviathan.

In your opinion, how have they affected the state of the art for both reader and author – and how effective in comparison are their competitors, such as B&N and Smashwords?

Amazon single-handedly created the indie revolution we’re now seeing move from infancy stage to something approaching toddler stage. It’s still all so new that the playing field is changing literally weekly. On the pro side, Amazon created a commission scheme that enables an author like me to make a nice living writing, without hitting massive numbers that would be required in a traditional publishing world. And for all their faults, and they do have plenty, they are still much better than the rest, from both an author as well as reader standpoint.

They got it right with the Kindle when the rest of the tech gurus were laughing at the idea of people reading eBooks. They got it right on the delivery system. Their site is easy to navigate and their lists make it easy to find books that interest you. Barnes is so busy kowtowing to the traditional publishers that they keep shooting their own foot off. Their site is crummy, in a word. They sequester indie books to a ghetto. They are in bed with trad pub, which unfortunately means, in my eye, that they put the interests of the big publishers first, and those of the reader second. That’s a lousy business philosophy, and it shows in their numbers. As to Smashwords, they make uploading to all the sites simple, but their reaction time is abysmal and their formatting requirements are a joke. Not that I have an opinion or anything.

From where I’m sitting, your recipe for success needs no condiments or garnish – in the spirit of your parody How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time, for an aspiring indie author, what is the perfect “Recipe for Failure”?

Now that’s an easy one: do what the vast majority of indie authors do.

First, dust off whatever crappy manuscript you’ve had in a drawer for years, or alternatively, decide that writing a book is easy, requires little to no study or understanding of craft, and is something anyone can do without any sort of preparation or effort.

Second, eschew professional editing, preferring to upload the screed without any proofreading or editing of any competent sort – better yet, complain that it costs money to do it right, and nobody’s made out of gold, so maybe once the book sells a ton, then you’ll consider fixing it.

Next, go amateur on the cover, figuring that if you have to spend any kind of real money making your work look professional you just won’t do it, preferring to create something that looks like a second-grader’s art project.

And finally, save the paltry bucks on getting your work formatted, instead just hoping for the best as a do-it-yourselfer.

Once it’s live, spend no time on your blurb – typos, incoherent or illiterate rants, meandering indecipherable jabber – all are good and will lure readers in. Put in hours sending out impersonal “Buy my book” tweets to an audience of other authors who don’t buy books and are only on Twitter to hawk their books, equally ineffectively.

When it’s all done and you aren’t selling, whine and bemoan your fate rather than looking at all the things you did wrong, and learn nothing in the process. Then repeat. Because there aren’t nearly enough crappy books in the world.

A lot has changed in the publishing industry since Bill Gates took over the world. Such as for typing and editing: gone are the days of reams of paper scarred with correction fluid – and those not lost in the parcel post returned (eventually) with a load of red, esoteric squiggles for the author to decipher – and then re-type the whole thing to go through the whole process again.

What are your favourite technological advancements for the author and reader?

Boy, the ability to store hundreds of books on a small, easily-readable device is number one.

A universe of reasonably-priced books is number two. Note those are both from the reader’s perspective.

From an author’s, eReaders have made reading fashionable again. Amazon’s commission scheme (followed by others) has made it possible for mid-list authors to earn attractive livings.

Real-time uploading means that any changes an author wants to make (fixing stuff, incorporating reader feedback or suggestions) can happen instantly, improving overall quality (at least in theory).

Print on Demand gives one the ability to create hard copy books without having to do huge print runs, at relatively reasonable prices.

Outsourcing editing, cover design, formatting enables authors to run all the quality control a big publishing house would at fractions of the costs.

I can honestly say there’s never been as exciting a time to be an author. The world has changed for us, fundamentally, and we, as well as readers, win big.

Rumour has it that you sold over 100,000 copies of your novels during 2012, not counting almost 500,000 free downloads. So, for 2013, are you tempted to take a gap year and spend some of your royalties on designer drugs, loose cars, and fast women – or do you intend to keep up your relentless pace until you do a face-plant on your keyboard?

The rumor you heard is not far off the mark, if a little understated…though I suppose not all the free downloads will actually be read.

I’m actually hoping that the fast women bring the drugs when arriving in their loose cars, thereby saving me the expense.

Seriously, the pace I’ve worked at – 18 novels in 18 months – is an insane one, and I have to slow down. 2013 will be 4 to 5 novels, max. The world now has enough Russell Blake thrillers. I’m not sure that what would really put me over the top would be those sixth and seventh 2013 novels. A little decompression between books would be a welcome relief, and one I plan to avail myself of this coming year. Then again, I think I said that at the start of last year, too, so I lie. Nature of the beast, and all.

One final question, Russell: now that you are rubbing shoulders in the Amazon best-sellers list with the likes of Ian Fleming and James Patterson you have a certain amount of game – game which attracts those alpha females like a smiling baby attracts a politician. Of all the eye-candy in the store, which female celebs have the sort of honeypot that would float your boat? You can fill a hot tub with them, if you’re feeling reaaal hungry…

Once one gets to a certain age, as long as the women are breathing, have most of their limbs and no obviously-contagious diseases, it’s all good. Of course, if Jessica Alba or Mila Kunis wanted to come over and sponge bathe me, I wouldn’t fight it. I might even be convinced to buy the first rounds of drinks. One has to remain open to new experiences, after all.

Thanks, Russell. Thanks to you readers, too – now, go buy something salient from Blake’s thoroughbred stable! Click HERE to be magically spirited to Aunty Amazon. But not before you take a spin through Russell’s 2012 writing year below:

The Voynich Cypher, March, 2012

When a sacred relic is stolen from its subterranean guarded vault, Dr. Steven Cross, amateur cryptographer, becomes embroiled in a deadly quest to decipher one of history’s most enigmatic documents – a 15th century parchment written entirely in unbreakable code; The Voynich Manuscript. Stalked by secret societies, and aided by the daughter of a murdered colleague, a trail of riddles catapults Cross from England to Italy to the Middle East, where a Byzantine web of ancient secrets leads him to a revelation so profound it will change the world order.

Revenge of the Assassin, May, 2012

Revenge of the Assassin is the breakneck-paced sequel to the bestselling international thriller King of Swords. When El Rey, the super assassin responsible for Latin America’s most spectacular hits, returns to Mexico for one final sanction, the race is on for Captain Romero Cruz of the Federales to stop him before he can fulfill his contract to kill the president. Revenge will delight fans of King of Swords, and offers the same gritty, unpredictable ride of thrills, twists and surprises before arriving at a conclusion that is sure to leave readers gasping.

Return of the Assassin, June, 2012

Return of the Assassin is the shocking continuation of the saga of El Rey, the notorious Mexican cartel super-assassin whose legacy of impossible kills has earned him the reputation as the most lethally effective hit man in the world. Faced with impossible choices as he races against time, El Rey must return to a cartel underworld where the smallest slip means instant death, on a suicide mission to save the life of a young woman whose escape and survival is inexorably linked to his own.

Silver Justice, August, 2012

Manhattan. A ruthless serial killer is butchering financial industry high rollers. FBI Special Agent Silver Cassidy, the head of a task force that’s on a collision course with disaster, finds herself fighting impossible odds to stop the murderer before he can kill again. Struggling to balance the hunt for a savage predator with the challenges of being a single parent, Silver finds herself thrust into a nightmare of brutality that will demand every ounce of determination she possesses to survive.

JET, October, 2012

Code name: Jet. Twenty-eight-year-old Jet was once the Mossad’s most lethal operative before faking her own death and burying that identity forever. But the past doesn’t give up on its secrets easily. When her new life on a tranquil island is shattered by a brutal attack, Jet must return to a clandestine existence of savagery and deception to save herself and those she loves. A gritty, unflinching roller-coaster of high-stakes twists and shocking turns, JET features a new breed of protagonist that breaks the mold. Fans of Lisbeth Salander, SALT, and the Bourne trilogy will find themselves carried along at Lamborghini speed to a conclusion as jarring and surprising as the story’s heroine is unconventional.

JET II – Betrayal, October, 2012

Twenty-eight year old Jet, the former Mossad operative from the eponymous novel JET, must battle insurmountable odds to protect those she loves in a deadly race that stretches from the heartland of Nebraska to the corridors of power in Washington, D.C., from the lurid streets of Bangkok to the deadly jungles of Laos and Myanmar. Fans of Kill Bill, the Bourne trilogy, and 24 will be delighted by this roller-coaster of action, intrigue and suspense.

JET III – Vengeance, November, 2012

Jet III – Vengeance finds Jet settled down, trying to return to a somewhat normal life of stability and safety. But fate has other plans for her when she becomes embroiled in a terrifying terrorism plot involving figures from her past, whose thirst for revenge forces her back into the kill-or-be-killed world she’d hoped to put behind her forever.

JET IV – Reckoning, December, 2012

JET IV – Reckoning pits Jet against the deadliest threat yet – an enemy with endless resources who will stop at nothing to destroy her. From the mountains of Indonesia to the streets of Washington, Jet discovers in a breakneck-paced roller-coaster of action that danger lurks in the unlikeliest of places and nothing is as it seems.

Click HERE to visit Russell’s Amazon author page

Self editing 4 fiction #4 ~ Point of View

Editor's choice: Zombie, Inc. ~ Christine Dougherty

Self editing 4 fiction #8 Master of the Beat

Self editing 4 fiction #7 Interior Monologue

What a Difference a Year Makes…